I'm a Backstabber

Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.”  He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. John 12:3-6

Want.

I'll be the first to admit I'm mildly obsessive when I get into a new hobby, spending hours online reading about it, shopping for it, and ultimately wanting another hobby to add to the list. Most recently I spent a great deal of time researching watches. I hadn't owned a watch in several years and I was looking for a masculine, grown-up watch that could not only reflect my personality but survive my lifestyle while making me look like a working adult. Ultimately it came down to a very particular style of watch and after careful deliberation I made my purchase. Now, I've got a great watch with all the features I wanted, but I know my sickness and I don't want to get away from my core value that a simpler life is more enjoyable.

I also work at a church, where I manage both financial records and assets. I'm glad I have oversight to keep my accounting accurate, as well as to keep me from sneaking equipment out the back door, because without it I might have ended up like the many people who are currently doing time in Uncle Sam's prisons for picking the pockets of Jesus.

I wanted to write this because I was struck by the volume of articles dealing with church embezzlement and all the people who are now behind bars instead of spreading the gospel of Christ with the world. Maybe they can do some good in the prisons, but I have a feeling it's not quite as effective as a prison ministry like Chuck Colson's Prison Fellowship. And unfortunately this isn't limited to any particular area--it's happening all over the world. So why do people filled by the Holy Spirit suddenly find themselves in orange jumpsuits? Is it because they just made a few bad choices? I'm hesitant to reduce it to that.

My theory is these people entered the journey* of faith and eventually lost all the innocent enthusiasm that comes with a fresh commitment to follow Christ. They start the inward journey of learning about their faith in a deeper way, learning about themselves, and then they have to confront themselves. They've shouldered their individual cross, carried it up the hill, and now the time is near to finally begin driving the nails so they can die to themselves spiritually and be resurrected in the renewed life of Christ.

But it's difficult to do that, especially when it's much easier just to fall into a performance-based, nominal Christianity. I've been here too. I've learned the script of all the words to sound like a tremendously devoted Christian, but the script is just a mask. What's going on inside is that a person has to decide whether to confront their own self or put someone else on that cross, and usually it's Jesus who goes back on the cross. Dying to the self is scary, and since Jesus has already died for you, it's so easy just to hope that he can change you magically without any work on your part.

At this point Jesus is taken off the throne of a person's heart and someone else takes the seat. So a person takes the throne of their own life and their scepter is desire. Whatever he or she wants, they point their desire at it and bring it into their kingdom.

The most dangerous thing in the world is wanting. From dictators who want power to children who want toys, this little monster likes to pop up its ugly head all over the place. Want is a scepter, and it's only good for something when it's being held by Christ on the throne of your life. Examine your heart and let him decide what you should want.

To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. Hebrews 6:6

*For more information about the journey model of spiritual growth see my post, The Bookmark.