Church is Harder for the Lonely

I moved to Springfield Missouri about a month ago to pursue a dream to help pastors across the US plant churches. Its been the adventure of a life time, and I have never been so sure that I am in the right place doing to right thing at the right time before. Its an amazing blessing.

Even though I am where I am supposed to be, it is hard. I left the love of my life back in California, we are still trying to figure out how to make all that work... I had never been to Missouri or even the Mid-West before I showed up to work, I had never met my boss or any of my coworkers, I didn't know a single person in the entire state. I have felt very lonely at times.

My initial thought to cure the loneliness was to get plugged in at a church... Easier said than done.

Church may be the most intimidating place for the lonely. I have never felt more out of place than sitting alone in the uncomfortable chair in the sanctuary of a church. I do not feel comfortable walking into the church building by myself.




It is more important to make connections with people outside of the church building than it is inside.

The thirsty are the ones that need a drink.

Springfield has no shortage of great, amazing, stunning, beautiful, excellent, and inspiring churches, and I have enjoyed visiting each. But I have been forcing myself to go sit in service every week.

How can we expect the broken, the lost, the lonely to visit our churches if we are not making meaningful connections outside of church.

One of the greatest things about church plants is that it usually means there is no building for the pastors to hide away in. It forces them to rub shoulders with the outside world.

There is a Pastor in Renton, Washington named Stephen Collins who has picked a Starbucks and claimed it as his office. Over the year I worked with Stephen we had many, many staff meatings, and drank many cups of coffee in that Starbucks. We started to see the people that worked at the Starbucks come to church, they started bringing friends, they started to interrupt our staff meetings to ask questions, and on occasion give us free food! The relationships built in that Starbucks allowed for them to feel comfortable coming to church.




Church is not a cure for loneliness.

True, authentic relationships are.

Relationships are built out of a caring, God centered, community. Unfortunately church does not always equal community.



The lost and lonely won't just magically show up inside of the church. A flyier or mailer won't be the connection needed to make them feel comfortable. A scripted phone call or email wont make them feel cared for.

"Faith is custom fit, not mass produced"

-Kyle Reynolds

I challenge you to put people ahead of church. To show people you truley care about them and not about filling seats.

Why did God create the world?

Photo by Aza Raskin

No, seriously. Why did God decide to do it? And in what sense did God create? Did God create out of nothing (ex nihilo) as we've so often thought in our modern age? Genesis 1 records an idea of God that presumes somethingness to have already existed. "And the earth was formless and empty." That hardly sounds like the ancient author understood matter the way we do. Or maybe God did create everything out of nothing. I certainly don't see any reason why God couldn't do that. But it doesn't answer the question, does it?

Why did God create the world?

It's a question that results in a lot of silence for a while. And then eventually someone ventures a tidbit of an old Sunday school lesson... "so God could be glorified?"

But that raises more questions. Does that make God a narcissistic egomaniac? At best, that scenario paints God as being  the opposite of the most recognized qualities which God embodied through the life of Jesus. For me, that answer is inadequate.

Why did God create the world?

Maybe you can psycho-analyze the question and conclude that when I ask this, I'm really trying to figure out why God created me. Sometimes that's correct. I really want to know why God created me, personally, individually, egotistically, and emblematically self. But jumping to that conclusion still doesn't answer the question. Have you ever felt like someone avoided your question because they thought you were really asking something else? According to the gospel writers, Jesus experienced that too. Sometimes it's a good thing when someone recognizes the question behind the question. But there are other times when it's not.

Undeniably, there are times when you mean exactly what you say and you want someone to answer it. Even if you recognize that some questions just can't be answered as conclusively as explaining why a dog wags its tail, there are times when you need someone to give you their honest and in-progress thoughts. This experience means that we as humans crave vulnerability: to be vulnerable and to share in someone else's vulnerability.

Why did God create the world?

It's almost a riddle isn't it. It's like a riddle that has become separated from its answer, so the ones asking it no longer know what the answer is. I wonder: out there somewhere, is there a person or a culture who has an answer but no riddle?

Why did God create the world?

It's fair to criticize the people who divert the question in order to answer another one. It's okay to feel disappointed or even angry when your question has been twisted and turned because someone would rather address their own conclusions about you--than you.

But in another sense, we know there are some questions without answers, as well as probably implications if there was a known answer. So the fact that we recognize one of these enigmatic quandaries in the wild and instinctively respond by jumping to one of the implicated issues that is close to our heart is natural. And in that respect it's not only telling of what we value, but also of our desire to form relationships.

Why did God create the world?

Relationships are everywhere. There are mathematical relationships between values (like your checking account) and there are non-mathematical relationships (like your marriage). There are geographical spaces and political camps. Time is a kind of relationship and so is the menu at your favorite restaurant. In Genesis 1 we read about a God who puts everything into an ordered relationship by creating, defining, developing, and organizing. And certainly when two people fall in love there are things that are created, defined, developed, and organized. Romance results in a restructuring of each individual life. Friendship results often in the restructuring of orders in life as new systems replace old systems.

Why did God create the world?

Honestly, I would argue that God created the world precisely because whether it was pre-existent somethingness or completely nothingness, God deemed its formlessness to be incompatible with God's nature. John reflects that the nature of God is love. My experience of the world confirms that. Thus, the way I form my story to answer the question incorporates that belief. And the answer I arrive at is that because love is generative and ultimately ordering, and because God is the essence and source of what we know as love, it follows that God created the world because God could not possibly resist it.

Like the gasses in a champagne following the cork out with a pop. Like light and heat emanating from a bonfire. Like sound erupting from a parade march--even if there were no other sound the very march itself can do nothing other than projecting its rhythm. God is like that unstoppable stampede or parading love that creates life and stomps order into it everywhere that it runs. Up and up it goes, ever climbing and ever expanding. Upward and bursting in its jubilant eternal procession.

That is why God created the world.

And it's in this flowing explosion of life and love that I hope to join completely as I can devote more and more of myself to God. Thank you for journeying with me.

If That's What You Are, Then What Am I?

Growing up with 2 older brothers, this was a constant saying in our house. Every time an insult was offered: "If that's what you are then what am I?" Despite the childish nature of such a comeback, I have found myself reverting to this idea an enumerable amount of times in the last few months. Let me begin by again sharing one of my favorite quotes:

"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, your Christians are so unlike your Christ."- Mahatma Gandhi.

Seem familiar? If you are a follower of Seeds, you have already seen this quote. These words alone are not only impactful, but so often seem to encompass the very subject of Seeds itself. Recently, more than ever, I have been left feeling that Gandhi had it right. So much so, that for a while, I refused to be known as a Christian. For me to make this statement, I must explain: It used to be that I turned on the news and only had to be known as a Christian when stories appeared on the news about Westboro Baptist or the string of church scandals that have unfolded in the past few years. Unfortunately, as of late, the more time I spend around Christians, the more I find myself repulsed by the Jesus they are selling. I am simply amazed at the judgment, discrimination, and hypocrisy that occurs, all while claiming to love the people that they crucify. So again I have to ask myself:

If that’s what you are, then what am I?

I was stuck in a paradigm…. I follow Christ, so I should be a Christian right?! But, if Christians crucify those they are supposed to love, I don’t want to be one. Can you see how I would want to disassociate myself from the title "Christian?"

Then it dawned on me, "Christian" was not what the disciples called themselves, but rather the title that was bestowed upon them by the society around them. The disciples simply called themselves followers, and the society labeled them as "little Christs" by the way that they lived, and the Savior that they preached.

Recognizing this, it makes me think what an honor it must have been to those who called themselves followers. What an honor it would be for my peers to recognize me as a Christian without me ever having to label myself as such. I am at the conclusion that "Christian" should not be something that one attributes to themself, but rather what one should hope to someday be attributed as.

I want to make this clear: I am not criticizing anyone who calls themself a Christian. I do however encourage you to ask of yourself, are the actions you partake in, the words that you speak, and the thoughts that you are thinking be associated with Christ? That is what the title of Christian means. That is what those who are viewing your life are interpreting it as. Are you treating it with the same weight?

So my prayer for us all: May we recognize the weight of the titles that we place among ourselves and the way that they affect the people around us. May we recognize that the way we compose ourselves is a direct reflection upon Jesus Christ when we associate our names with His. Finally, may we one day live a life worthy that those around us would deem us as Christians.
Faithfully,
Chris

Quotable: "Love is what differentiates a Father from a King"

What I Miss From Not Working In A Church

I took a break from full time vocational ministry after our church closed and spent some time working in a hotel and eventually in sales. Now that I'm back working in a church full time I've noticed there are some things I really miss.

1. Going to church and not being paid for it.
Waking up that first Sunday I was no longer being paid by a church was liberating.

I rolled over to Laura and asked, "Do you wanna go to church?"
"I don't know, do you?" she responded sleepily.
It was a great moment because we were no longer obligated to be there. We were free to choose. This forced us to ask ourselves, why do we go to church. Was it for more than a paycheck? Our motives had a chance to be purified. We decided the church could be a movement that we'd love to be a part of.

2. Ego Boost

After 12 years of full time vocational ministry under the belt a question began entering my mind and wouldn't leave like a scratch I was afraid to itch.

"Am I only doing this because it's the only thing I can make money at?"

I'm a bit embarrassed to share that but it's the truth. Was my worth and ability to provide an income limited to only the church? Working in sales gave me a chance to see that I was really good at other things. I could make great money for my family elsewhere. I didn't have to be a pastor. I no longer felt desperate and inadequate. I could choose to be a pastor again for much better reasons.

2. Better friendships

I've always had trouble making friends with Christians. I get lost in the language they use. Perhaps it's because I don't want to talk about God all of the time. Sometimes, I'd rather just talk about the latest Portlandia episode or the UFC.

I also hate the feeling of walking on egg shells. Honesty gets stunted the moment you're afraid of offending someone. Working at the hotel and in sales gave me a chance to meet some really great people. We laughed really hard and I was free to be me.

3. Quantifiable Efforts.

My favorite time of the day in sales was when I counted up everything I did. It was right there on the computer screen. I sold a certain amount of beds and made a certain amount of money. The sense of accomplishment was very rewarding. The difficulty with working in a church full time is people are not projects to be completed. Life is messier than that.

4. Praying for more than a message.
When I was working in sales, I'd often get to work an hour early and spend some time reading the Bible and praying at this Starbucks near work. Sunday was our busiest day so going to church usually wasn't possible. God would meet me there and we had the best conversations. I remember how goofy it seemed that the God of the Universe would spend time in this grocery store Starbucks somewhere in Bellevue but He did. I think our friendship developed quite a bit and I learned to trust him in ways I hadn't before. I think I realized how much I like him and he likes me. This happened because I was able to concentrate on much more than a message I was preparing. Ironically, I was free to experience him without the constraints of churchy things.

Accidentally Good

I won't speak for everyone because I know this can be an unsettling subject. If a self-analysis of your ethics makes you squeamish--fair warning--go back to Facebook, Reddit, or the refrigerator.

How I spend my time, the kind of friends I make, what experiences attract my attention, and how I relate to the world are all pretty good indicators of what kind of person I am. And since I happen to believe my mode of using my life is important, it is only logical that I would want to continually evaluate whether or not I am using this life well. Because of this and because of a recent contemplation of philosophical ethics, I am ready to make the bold claim that most of my altruism has been accidental.

When it comes to ethical philosophy--what you believe is right or wrong--there are two-and-a-half positions. First, there is ethical egoism, in which someone's moral compass tells them it's best to act in their own self-interest. Second, there is ethical altruism, in which someone's moral compass tells them it's best to act in the interests of others above their own. And second-and-a-halfly, there is ethical utilitarianism, which is the moral inclination toward the good of everyone by which someone treats others the same as themselves. This last position is really a balance of the first two, however it appears at first glance to be the ethical manifestation of the famous Golden Rule (do unto others...) that Christians are always harping on about.

But do we actually practice the Golden Rule? Or are we lying to ourselves. (Matthew 5-7)

I'm in seminary right now, preparing for full-time ministry. I have every reason to convince the people around me I'm a golden superstar who eats saltines while serving filet mignon to the homeless (or Gardenburgers if they're vegetarian). Is it weird that it's in my best interest for everyone to think I'm an altruist? Yep, I think so too. So here's a confession: I'm not a good altruist. I spend a little time volunteering and I've supported public broadcasting. I try to tip well and always be polite to everyone I meet. But I've spent much more time shopping online for wristwatches and iProducts than volunteering anywhere or supporting any causes--period. Simply put, my actions speak louder to my interest in saving money on an horological accessory than any significant altruistic commitment to people. In fact, most of the times I've wound up helping someone was the result of being somewhere by coincidence or repaying a favor to a friend. My charitable acts of kindness and altruism were accidental. (Mark 10)

In point of fact, I am an egoist. I don't spend my time thinking about other people nearly as much as a true altruist or utilitarian would. I'm not saying that in itself is a good or not, but to judge myself by my action it is clear that somewhere inside I am deeply swayed to the egoist opinion, and active interest for others is like the wind and the wave on the thin surface of the ocean. It's important to come to terms with this reality if I'd like to stand any chance of changing it. (James 1)

I'm tired of being accidentally good. Like diving into the ocean, I'm trying to figure out how deep I must go to bring the light of charity to the deepest places of my soul. And someday, maybe, I will open my depths to the Spirit of God who blows patiently across my surface. (Genesis 1)

Now let me get out of the way and Jesus will have the last word.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! (Matthew 6)

22 Old Testament Facts Not Taught in Sunday School

When I first became a Christian, I always thought it exciting to ask Christians what they found more interesting: Old or New Testament? Although some (mostly male) people answered the Old Testament for the amazing battles of David's mighty men, the vast majority answered New Testament. Despite the presence of Jesus being the anticipated answer as to why the New Testament was favored, I was shocked to hear most people answer "Because the Old Testament is too confusing and boring."

I admit, the Old Testament genealogies are perhaps drier than the bones found in Ezekiel’s vision, yet after taking an entire class that was focused on surveying the Hebrew Bible, I found that my own feelings of confusion and boredom had little to do with the content. Instead they stemmed from my inability to understand what I was reading. Despite my feeling of being well-versed in Biblical history going into the class, I found that my own Biblical education had been lacking in even some of the most basic areas. Anticipating this lack of knowledge about the basics, our professor weekly quizzed us on 22 basic facts that are helpful in understanding the Old Testament. This list was completely complied by him, and I am greatly appreciative for the tool that helped me to understand the Old Testament better, hopefully it will do the same for you!

1. Abraham is thought to have lived about 1700 BCE.
2. Moses is thought to have lived about 1200 BCE.
3. David and Solomon were kings of Israel between 1000-900 BCE.
4. 10 of the 12 tribes of Israel were destroyed when the Assyrians invaded the North in 722 BCE. These are the tribes of Reuben, Simeon, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Ephraim, and Manasseh.
5. After Solomon's reign, the northern kingdom is known as Israel, southern kingdom is Judah.
6. The first Jewish Temple (Solomon's Temple) was destroyed by the Babylonians in 586 BCE.
7. Much of the Hebrew Bible was collected and edited in Babylon, during the Babylonian Captivity, about 550 BCE.
8. The Second Temple was Dedicated in 516 BCE.
9. The Tanakh is divided into three parts: 1) Torah ("Law" or "Instruction"); 2) Nevi'im ("Prophets") and 3) Ketuvim ("Writings").
10. The "Torah" refers to the first five books of the Bible: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy- These books are also sometimes referred to as the Pentateuch.
11. The language of the Hebrew Bible is Hebrew, though some parts are written in a related language called Aramaic.
12. The Second Temple was Destroyed in 70 CE.
13. After the destruction of the Second Temple, Jews no longer had a place to sacrifice as their scriptures had instructed them to do.
14. Rabbinic Judaism began after the destruction of the Second Temple.
15. Modern Israel became a state in 1948, after World War II.
16. Jerusalem is situated with the Dead Sea to the east, the Mediterranean Ocean to the west, the Negev Desert to the south, and Samaria and Galilee to the north.
17. The River Jordan connects that Sea of Galilee (in the north) with the Dead Sea.
18. Jerusalem is about 10 miles west of Jericho and the Dead Sea. (10 is not a typo).
19. Jerusalem is located on a mountain range that runs north and south through the land, and is at about 2500 feet in elevation.
20. Every year, Jews commemorate their deliverance from slavery in Egypt with a festival called Passover.
21. Jews are instructed by God to keep his commandments, which are listed in the Torah, specifically in Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy.
22. Through Moses on Mt. Sinai, God made an eternal covenant with the Jewish people.