When God Does Not Provide...

... in the way you want.

We have all dealt with this subject in different ways, whether we wanted God to provide us with a car, a spouse, good grades, or whatever we may desire. But I'm sure many of us have realized that God does not work like a vending machine.

Many have heard the scriptures that say to ask for anything you need in the name of Jesus and he will provide (John 14). Or how God provides for the birds and the flowers, and he loves us so much more, he would provide for us too (Luke 12). Sometimes I think it is easy for us to expect that we will always get what we want because God loves us, but you and i both know that many have unmet wants and needs.

This year started off very difficult for me. I am originally from Sacramento California but moved up to Seattle, Washington to attend school at Northwest University after I attended 2 years of community college back home. Northwest is a private christian school where I am studying to get my bachelors degree in pastoral ministries. To make a long story short, a year and a half after attending Northwest i was unsure of how i would be able to afford continuing school. I moved back into the dorms this past spring semester unsure about whether or not I would be able to attend school. I just assumed that God would provide something or he would bend some rule in my favor, instead i was sent packing.

On top of not being able to attend school, I had to find somewhere to live within the week, I was extremely stressed to say the least. Plus I had to tell friends and family that I could not go to school, which honestly seemed a little embarrassing.

At first I was pretty upset with God. I was thinking how could you let this happen to me, after all I am going to school to be a pastor, for you! And plus you didn't really provide for me...

I could not have been more wrong! God provided me with a place to live in like two days, which was amazing. God also provided me with an amazing job as a worship leader at a local church! Beyond the physical, God has provided me with a sense of peace and security in him.

These last few months have been crazy! But I would not change anything if I had the chance because I am learning daily that God is in control and truly does provide, even when it seems like all hope is gone.

I still am not sure as of when I will be able to return to school, but I am ok with that because I know that God has a plan, though I cannot see it.

I want to leave you with a quote from Rob Bell that has brought great understanding to me through this time,

"God's idea of better is better!"

Love and Peace to you all!

Kelsey