Solving for X [Guest Post]

Frederick Buechner writes about church-speak in a way I’ve always liked — he calls it “Algebraic Preaching”:

"X + Y = Z. If you know the value of one of the letters, you know something. If you know the value of two, you can probably figure out the whole thing. If you don't know the value of any, you don't know much.
Preachers tend to forget this. 'Accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and be saved from your sins,' or something like that, has meaning and power and relevance only if the congregation has some notion of what, humanly speaking, sin is, or being saved is, or who Jesus is, of what accepting him involves.
If preachers make no attempt to flesh out these words in terms of everyday human experience (maybe even their own) but simply repeat with variations the same old formulas week after week, then the congregation might just as well spend Sunday morning at home with the funnies."

His words have come to mind often during my halting attempts to start going to church again. Sincere in our faith but frustrated with church culture, my husband Justin and I stepped away for a while and it’s been years since our church-every-Sunday insider days.
About 4 years ago as newlyweds, Justin and I started going to a couples’ small group in hopes of finding a faith community where we could be ourselves. Everyone was really nice, but we struggled to get past the language barrier sometimes. Everything felt familiar, and yet, so bizarre. Déjà vu-ey.

One of the most awkward moments came one day when our group’s leader asked Justin what the purpose of marriage is. Justin’s usually a pretty private dude, so the depth of his answer surprised me. “Um, I think it’s a lot of things: companionship, a support system, encouraging each other’s dreams, love, having grace for each other, growing as an individual as well as together...”

Our leader replied, “Well, I think it’s about Jesus.”

Boom! Things have just gotten spiritual, people! About Jesus. It was clear our leader thought his answer was very different than Justin’s while I thought they were the same.

Another person chimed in with a breezy, “Marriage is for the glorification of God.”
I was curious what they meant, so I asked. I received blank looks in response. It felt like everyone in the room knew what X was, except me. I felt more alienated than ever — maybe I’d have been better off with the funnies.
***

This probably wouldn’t bother me all that much, except that during my church insider days I’m sure I said plenty of X-ish sorts of things without ever thinking much about it. Worse, as a church intern/worship leader, I had a microphone in my hand much of the time.

Ouch.

Even as I’m quick to cringe these days at church-speak, I’m haunted by the painful awareness that at times I reduced the vast mysteries of God’s mercy to some clichéd Christian catch-phrase.

I didn’t do it on purpose — no one does — I did it because it was comfortable. I used the words that everyone else used. Only problem was that none of us knew what they meant anymore, least of all me. The truth behind the words — good words like “grace” and “salvation” and “worship” — remained elusive.

Going beyond X and Y — putting stumbling words to our messy, murky, very human journey of faith and doubt — well, that’s a lot more vulnerable than most of us are willing to get a lot of the time. But if ever something was needed, it’s this kind of grappling with what we mean by these sacred words we use.

Yeah, it’s risky. We sound a lot less sure of ourselves. It doesn’t always make for a nicely-packaged Sunday sermon.

 But for the folks who show up to Sunday morning or to small group or to a coffee shop or to a bar to feel comfortable enough to share their own messy words, we have to go there.

For my friends — who have heard an awful lot of X or worse — I have to go there.

My 3-month-old Asher will someday ask me who Jesus is and why he matters. If ever there was a thought that keeps me trying to learn how to talk about faith authentically, that’s it.

Beyond all that, I need to keep striving to know what X means for myself. I may never reach a place where I can use all the right words to explain it, and I’ll probably make a fool out of myself many times over. But the clichés aren’t enough, they never were, and I find these wobbly new conversations infinitely more satisfying.

So . . . what are some of the things you’ve either said, or heard others say, that could use a little fleshing out? Ready, go.

About the Writer:
Stacey Lawlis lives near Seattle with her partner-in-crime Justin and their sweet boy, Asher. During naptime, she moonlights as a copywriter and web designer. She is fascinated by Jesus, true love, motherhood, Wilco, ketchup, and Starbucks — and is happy to have a rambly conversation about any of those things anytime. http://lawlisness.com

The Now - Antenna

Do we really have the ability to hear God?

Is that even possible?

Death by Checklist

10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.
John 10:10,18

I just wanted to share a brief encouragement for all of us who find ourselves in a constant struggle to allow God to fully penetrate our lives, actions, decisions, thoughts, words, emotional states, work, and space. I've often been discouraged from loving Christ fully because the weight of expectations on my shoulders made Christianity feel like more of a slavery than a vibrant explosion of love and grace. If you want to be a "good Christian" you don't have to ask around very much in your church to find out what it takes.
The checklist in your community probably looks something like this:

1. Read your Bible every day, at least once a day
2. Pray every day, "without ceasing"
3. Get baptized
4. Attend church consistently, regularly, and on time
5. Bring other people to church and get them to attend consistently
6. Tithe 10% regularly, and give offerings above that as much as possible
7. Go on a mission trip
8. Volunteer to help decorate, set up, tear down, paint, repair, greet, fold, or whatever there is to do at your church
9. Dress nice (we're meeting with God, right?)
10. Smile
11. Have a family that does all of these things

It's kind of gotten out of hand, right? First, I want to address this list, and then I'll conclude with my exhortation.

1. Hardly anyone reads their Bible consistently every day, especially people who have been Christians for a while.
2. No one's prayer habits carry on like a steady train rolling down the tracks incapable of being stopped. Each new season of life carries its own impetus for reminding us to pray, especially times of trouble, but other seasons allow our minds to wander away from this discipline.
3. You don't have to get baptized to be saved. You also should not get baptized in order to please your church leaders. It needs to be genuinely because you are ready to publicly dedicate your life to Christ, not as a sign of societal protest or to attract attention to yourself, but to invite those around you to hold you accountable to the way of Christ--whether those witnesses are Christian or not.
4. "Church" the way most people use the term in our society refers to a time of gathering which includes a musical display of worship, a few announcements, and a message or sermon. But this isn't in the Bible. The only thing we see that Jesus wants us to do is love each other and bring outsiders into his love. Maybe we should worry more about the people we're close to, and the people who need Christ's love (often at inconvenient moments) than getting to service on time (or at all, as the case may sometimes be).
5. Have we traded genuine Christian discipleship as commanded by Jesus in Matthew 28:19 for a cheap invitation to a weekly event? Do we think bringing someone to a program is going to change their life? Let's remember that the love of Christ isn't looking for attendance points, but acts of love and investment in the lives of those who need to learn about him.
6. You should allow God to use your resources, especially the financial resources, because it causes you to trust him and rely on his wisdom above your own. But if you find yourself griping about how you'd rather use that money as you drop it in the basket, then you should just stop. If God gets the same treatment in your heart and mind as a deadbeat relative, then your gifts are actually causing your heart to despise God rather than love and glorify him. Stop giving until you can love him again.
7. You don't have to go to another country to prove you love Jesus, or to feel like you've fulfilled the Great Commission. It's not about foreign ministry, but your neighbors. And let's be honest, it gets expensive to travel to other countries. So why do that to your pocketbook (and your family) just to elevate your status in the life of your church community? If you can swing it and have the opportunity to go, then you should go and experience it. But it's not like God can't use you in your country of origin.
8. Volunteer, but don't get caught up in serving a building so much that you never serve people. Mow old ladies' lawns, bake cookies for new neighbors (which requires noticing when new people move into the neighborhood), and offer to help friends solve problems. We don't need fresh paint or smooth traffic flow in the parking lot as much as we need people who care for each other and embody Christ's love.
9. Forget dressing up for church. Forget dressing down for church. Just dress like you. Bring yourself in all of your regularness and selfness to God. If you physically practice putting on a "face" for church, you'll start spiritually putting on a "face" as well. If the people in your church community can't accept the regular you, then it's time to have a sit-down and ask whether Jesus makes such demands of those who come to him.
10. Smile. It's good for you. Even if you're feeling down, a physical smile can at least bring you up to feeling neutral. All things being equal though, don't smile and say everything is fine when it's not. If there was ever a place you should be able to bare all and be transparent, it should be in the church. And if you can't do that at your church, then it's time for another sit-down and possibly time to look for another community where you are free to tell people you had a terrible week. A smile should be an expression of genuine emotion, whether of overflowing joy or peaceful relief to see friendly faces. It should never become your prison.
11. You can't control other people--only yourself. And let's be honest, you even struggle with controlling yourself, don't you? It's okay. No matter how hard you work to teach your kids to follow God, they will still make their own choices. I know well respected pastors with tremendous wisdom who had two kids enter ministry and one kid enter prison. So why should anyone else be expected to have it all together? Don't let anyone expect you to magically have a "perfect" family because they don't exist.

Most of the time your own self-expectations are weighty enough without adding that of others, but it's not enough to learn to live without the weight of other people's expectations on your shoulders. It's not enough just to shirk off others. We have to constantly keep our heart in love with all these people, whether they deserve it or not. 

1. So may you learn to prioritize things the way Christ teaches through what is recorded in the Bible (that's why we read it).
2. May you rely on God to provide you strength to forgive people who offend, hurt, and betray you; as well as to invite his wisdom as you hope for the best in their lives as well as your own (that's why we pray).
3. May you be continually baptized as your selfish nature dies and you allow Christ to resurrect in you a nature that craves and loves what God creates and loves, both in private moments and moments of great public weight (that is what baptism is).
4. May you remember often and spend time with those who you need to be sharpened by, as well as those who need to be sharpened by you (that is what church is).
5. May your purpose and love so fill your life that others are healed by it and drawn to Christ who fills and heals you (that is what evangelism is).
6. May you never lack, but if you do may you draw closer to God because of it, and may you give generously because of love for Christ who gave all (that is what tithing is for).
7. May your perspective be broadened by an experience with people who live and think differently within the same love of God, and may you grow in love as you serve those with whom you can barely communicate (that is what mission trips are for).
8. May your love for Christ manifest outwardly as you volunteer your time and energy in serving everyone around you just as Christ made himself available to everyone who needed help (that is why we volunteer).
9. May you wear your personality outwardly, whether poor, flamboyant, or plain as you love yourself and others just as God loves you--without any pretenses (for all he wants to see are his children).
10. May joy rise in your soul, and may honesty dwell there, that you not only be filled with joy but share burdens with others who need to know they're not alone (it is because we know we are not alone or hopeless that joy can create a smile).
11. And may your love for Christ spread through all who spend any amount of time with you. And may the love of Christ teach you to forgive yourself and find healing in his arms when things don't go as you hoped.

Memorable Moments [From the Archive]

This post originally posted on November 2nd 2010 and still serves as a great reminder to all:

Today was a good day.

Today was a day full of memorable moments, the good and the bad. Church planting conference gave me the opportunity to meet with other people that are passionate about the things that fuel me; had an argument with the girlfriend, which ended up in a good discussion and the ability to love each other better; and a great time with friends at Issaquah Brew House where we had the opportunity to talk about memorable moments.

My pastor, Kyle Reynolds, is preaching a message called “Story” which has the premise that, “the things that make up a good story are the same components that make up a good life.”

It makes me think how often I decide to just sit down and watch TV/play Halo, rather than do something different. When I reflect on the things I have done in my life I don't think about the hours I have spent playing video games and watching TV, I think about the times when my family was able to get together for dinner at Ruth’s Chris, or when my Dad would take me golfing, or even when my brother and I thought it would be a great idea to climb on our roof and shoot our airsoft guns at the neighbor kids.

There are opportunities in life to make the mundane magical, in our lives and in the lives of those around us, and the measure of a great life is how many of those opportunities we act upon.

Lets choose to write a great story with our lives.

Top Posts of March

1. God is not a Republican

"I humbly ask you to think about if your outspoken political views are helping, or hurting the kingdom of Christ."

2. Is Rob a Heretic? Book Review: LOVE WINS by Rob Bell

"The overwhelming theme of his work here, to which he devotes most of his arguments and discussion, is that our actions and choices matter infinitely more than we have ever imagined."

3. Check....Check....God, can you hear us?

"But let's not kid ourselves when we have a synchronized light show with our music and call that worship."

Follow up Post 

4. Hey Haters, I Hate Your Theology

"Sometimes its easier to find the love of Christ outside of a church than inside... Theology is Sometimes Good, but Love is Always Better"


Video of Steve Furtick that ignited the thoughts of this post

5. Blockbuster - An Uncomfortable Parable

"3500 churches are closing each year. I'm just trying to figure out what our Netflix will look like."