I'm All Talked Out!

I've been married to Laura for 8 years but have known her most of my life. She knows me better than anyone. Unquestioningly, she's my best friend. We have an innumerable amount of inside jokes, nick names, common interests and shared stories. You can put the two of us in a white room with nothing to do, and we'll have plenty of fun.

However, I can't talk to her non-stop. Eventually, I run out of words. My conversation skills tire. I shut down. I'm only human. Oh, and I'm also a dude. We were created with less words than women. It's science. Look it up.

Now, I've heard the Bible requests for us to "pray without ceasing" and that we should "walk in the spirit" and "abide in him" but that just seems exhausting to me. I mean, there's been times when I've been at a camp where I spent nearly the entire time praying and it was great, but I also have to admit, when I got home from that camp I was spiritually exhausted. The only thing that appealed to me was a beer and a Sci Fi original movie.

I even climbed a mountain in Canada with some good friends and spent one entire night isolated and utterly alone. I spent several hours praying under the stars. I vented every frustration, confessed every sin, and shared every dream. Eventually, I came to a point where I literally chuckled out loud, and said to God, "Welp, I suppose that's about it." Awkward silence hung over me and this began me down a trail this "relationship" I'm supposed to have with God may be different than I think.

I'm not against prayer in the traditional thinking. I'm simply suggesting it is not sustainable.

What if God is not the Junior High school girl with unlimited cell phone minutes we've been told he is?

Lets come full circle shall we. My relationship with Laura is the healthiest one I've ever had. As I've told you before, she's my very best friend.

And I don't talk to her all day. However, I do think of her all the time.

I thought of her after my big sale on Labor day and couldn't wait to text her that we can pay those bills after all.

I thought of her later that night when I went out for a beer with my coworkers. Things were becoming too fun for a married man, I thought of Laura, and I came home.

I thought of her after Linc and I took a picture at the zoo. I couldn't wait to get home and share with her about our fun day.

I thought of her just now when I realized I need to get home soon so we can go out to dinner.

Now, go read the Bible and see how many times, Jesus requests his friends to "remember me". My favorite occasion is on one of their final moments together as they sat around a table and had dinner. It's quite beautiful actually.

Perhaps God is not interested in my obligated conversations as he is in us becoming friends, so that he enters my thoughts often? What if this "relationship" with him is meant to be freeing rather than exhausting?

Well, figure that out on your own. I gotta get home. I just remembered, I have dinner plans.